


Karkat: Accept your fate.

by lifeisntamusical



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Sadstuck, Suicide but it's non graphic, They basically live on Earth only there's trolls instead of humans, first ao3 post, he gets someone else to do the dirty work, in fact it's not even suicide in a conventional sense, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 16:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2074941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeisntamusical/pseuds/lifeisntamusical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas. You think you're supposed to be terrified, but instead, you're careless. It's a strange way to feel, unexpected, but it makes sense. After all, you always knew this was coming, even if you had never consciously recognized it. You knew it would come to this eventually</p>
            </blockquote>





	Karkat: Accept your fate.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know, I think this is a fun idea.

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You think you're supposed to be terrified, but instead, you're careless. It's a strange way to feel, unexpected, but it makes sense. After all, you always knew this was coming, even if you had never consciously recognized it. You knew it would come to this eventually.

You had always been so careful. You made sure to avoid any possible injuries, and if blood did rise to the surface, you made sure to hide it. The sweaters helped with that a lot, so they were all you wore. You didn't hemotype, you didn't tell ever your closest of friends. No one found out about your blood color, and that's the way you liked it.

Of course, nothing good can ever stay that way. You fell into a false security, sure that you would be fine, that your secret would never come out. You did dangerous things without thinking about what could happen, you forgot about how easily skin was broken, but your real downfall was forgetting to plan for the future.

One morning, you stumbled into the bathroom, eyes closed as you groped for the counter, just like you did every day. You splashed water on your face, blinking through the liquid and early morning exhaustion, instinctively flicking your eyes up to your reflection.

A second later, you were sprawled out on the floor, breathing heavily and very much awake. For a minute, you sat there, gripping the ground with white knuckles and looking up at the mirror. It was a figment of your imagination, you assured yourself. There's no way it's already happened, you're too young, your mind was playing tricks on you.

Once you had calmed down, you stood, biting your lip as your fear was confirmed. Flecks of bright red against the yellow of your eyes mocked you for ever thinking it could be this easy.

You got yourself a pair of sunglasses, even though they would serve no use. You couldn't leave your home anymore, it was too dangerous. Still, you wore them at all times, if to keep your hideous eyes hidden from yourself if no one else.

It was a short time after this that you made your decision, or rather, the thought came to you. You had been too scared to do it at the time, chastising yourself for even having the idea. Still, the idea sat at the back of your mind, nudging you every chance it got.

You glance around your living room, trying to decide if you should clean, and sighing. Why would you clean? No one is going to see this place, anyway. Next you wonder if you should watch one more movie before you go. But which one would you watch? There were so many great movies in your collection, and you'd probably just end up watching movies all day and chickening out.

This entire room was just proving to be a distraction, and for a moment, you forget why you came in here, anyway. An alert from your computer reminds you, and you sit down, staring at the messages waiting for you. They were all simple, bothersome really. They had no point other than to say '2up' to their 'bEsT fRiEnD' 'K4RK4T', as a few of them so eloquently put it. Gah, you hated their typing quirks. You would not be missing those, you could promise yourself that.

For a moment, you stare at the words on the screen, and your vision begins to blur. Not with tears-you are not crying over these idiots-just dust or something. You really need to clean more often. Needed.  

Another message pulls you out of your hypnotic stare, and you blink quickly, clearing your throat as if you were actually talking to someone. You overlook this message completely, just in case some more dust gets into your eye, opening a new memo instead.

You type out a quick message, sniffling as you finish. That dust was sure being annoying today. Just before hitting send, you hesitate, making a quick alteration, blinking as the words appeared on the screen.

The color was even brighter and uglier than you remembered. Seriously, it was burning your eyes through the dark shades. A response comes almost instantly, as do others, so quickly your old laptop can't keep up, but you've already left the computer. It's way too dusty over there for you, and you have work to do.

You pull on the softest sweater you own, pulling at a loose thread near the bottom. This was definitely the oldest article of clothing you owned, and it had been worn to near pieces, but you're still swimming in the fabric. The next step is hard, and it shouldn't be, because no one's here to see. Still, you pause for a long moment before pulling off your sunglasses, and pause even longer still before snapping them in half. You feel exposed, but with the snap comes an almost relief, of sorts.

You drop the pieces, stepping into the hallway and freezing as you catch your reflection in the window. The sight is pathetic: a tiny little freak, swimming in an old sweater, hair greasy and sticking up everywhere, hiding the nubs you call horns, face covered in dried tears and dirt. You probably should've bathed more, or at least washed your face.

You have heavy bags under eyes much wider than you remember them being, and the coloring makes you crinkle your nose in disgust. They had filled in much quicker then you imagined they would. Someone could be standing across a room and still see them. With this coloring, they could be across the planet and still see them. It was sickening.

With one last glance at your reflection, you open your door. The first step outside takes the longest time, but once you've done it, every step down the path gets easier and easier. Looking the way you do, you'll probably be culled on the spot, but if that's not good enough, you can just let them get a loo at your eyes.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and as soon as you come across someone else, you won't have anything to worry about.


End file.
